A Piece of Work
by bakingmuffins
Summary: A few little scenes to be inserted into Mockingjay about Katniss and Peeta. Chapter 1: After handling her first conversation with Peeta after his hijacking so badly, Katniss goes back for another try.  Also, some scenes about how Peeta and Katniss grow back together after they return to District 12.
1. Chapter 1

(takes place after chapter 16, when Katniss speaks with Peeta for the first time after he is hijacked)

The next day, I wake up reliving the conversation.

"You're a piece of work, aren't you?"

And for a moment instead of feeling the pain of his rejection, I can see what he is looking for in his questions. He remembered the bread. He said, "I don't know what to think..." As usual, I was only thinking of myself, of defending myself, but I realize that Peeta was really looking for answers, which I didn't give him. He probably will still hate me whatever I say, but I owe it to him to give him an answer after all he has been through. After all, there is no doubt that that is what he would do for me.

I head straight for his room and demand to speak to him. There is some shuffling around and I have to wait for at least an hour, impatiently kicking the walls in the hallway outside. I keep reminding myself of all of the times that Peeta has made himself vulnerable to me, openly loved me when I rarely showed love back without being forced.

Finally, they show me into the same room where I spoke to him before. He is still eyeing me distrustfully, and I know he wrote me off last night, but I can see a little curiosity in his face too, underneath all of the suspicion.

"I'm sorry." I say.

He just watches me. I try to ignore the doctors watching us.

"I'm sorry that I was so defensive yesterday. You are right. I am a piece of work, and I don't know how to talk about feelings. I know I have never deserved your love. But I want you to know that I did love you. I really loved you." I know that if I keep talking, I will start sobbing or choking or something. He isn't saying anything to me. But I have to add one more thing, and as I say it I feel so fierce, that the sobbing doesn't take over my voice.

"I would do anything to get you back."


	2. Chapter 2

He looks up at me quickly and our eyes meet for a moment. Wide blue circle eyes, his expression is pure surprise.

I feel so full of emotion and uncomfortable and vulnerable that I turn and run away before anything else happens. I find a hiding place and huddle, my mind racing. Until I spoke the words, I had been putting off making a decision about how I felt about Peeta, about whether I was in love with him, because I couldn't make up my mind to give up Gale completely. In the Quarter Quell I was able to let go of him because I was so sure that I was never going to see him again anyway, but ever since I saw Gale I hadn't been sure. And I had been putting all of my effort into not thinking about it or letting myself feel anything to have any idea what my true feelings were. But my words ring true in my mind and I know that while Gale will always be important to me, Peeta is everything to me. Our last night together in the Quarter Quell comes unbidden to my mind, so sweet, Peeta's efforts to convince me that I should be the one to survive, our kisses, the incredible need for him that I felt in those moments. The memory washes over me like a burst of sunshine, and then right behind it is a wave of pain, the completely overwhelming darkness of the current situation, the current Peeta, his manufactured fear and hate towards me. But the sweetness stays with me a little bit too, making me wish that I could do something to fight for Peeta, to help him through the psychological mazes, to find him again and bring him out of the nightmares he is living.


	3. Chapter 3

(after she meets Peeta in the dining hall in Chapter 17)

After hearing Johanna speak of his screaming and dreaming endlessly of Peeta's torture, I cannot shake the feeling that what I am imagining can only be a fraction of what he has endured. My resolve to get revenge, to be a part of the offense on the Capitol is stronger than ever before. While training is a satisfying outlet for my pain, I wonder if there is anything else I could do to help Peeta. What could I say to him? How can I invite him to reject me again when everything inside of me just wants to hide from his judgment?

As I go through drills in training the next day, I can't stop thinking about the things that Peeta said at dinner. Is he right about me, in spite of Gale's reassurances? Have I treated him badly, never committing myself? I know that the old Peeta didn't think so. He gave his heart to me unconditionally. He wanted to be friends after the initial hurt of finding out that I had been acting in our first Hunger Games. But I can feel a kernel of truth in his observations. In the midst of my psychological trauma and my fear of emotion, I have done Peeta, Gale, and myself an injustice by putting off making a decision. I made my decision when I revisited Peeta in his room, or maybe I really did before that, but I need to let them both know. And in spite of what I said to him before, Peeta obviously doesn't believe that I have given up Gale romantically.

I want Peeta back. The real Peeta. My Peeta. And I know that I am going to have to keep on putting myself out there for him if I am ever going to get him back, just like he did for me.

After training I walk over to his room. The despair threatens to overwhelm me because I know that I am inviting punishment by even approaching him, but I somehow get myself there.

"Peeta?" I knock on the door. A guard opens the door. His doctors seem to have left him alone for a while and he just has one guard keeping an eye on him and some restraints on his wrists with chains to keep him near his chair or bed. The guard eyes me doubtfully, glances at Peeta, who is just noticing me, and then lets me in a few feet when Peeta doesn't freak out.

"Why are you here?" Peeta looks curious and a little angry, the expression doesn't fit right on him.

"Um, I wanted to talk to you. Ok?"

He is looking into my eyes and searching for something. I can't tell if he finds it. "Go ahead." He looks at the floor.

"How are you? How are you feeling?"

He looks back up at me and raises his eyebrows like he can't figure out what to make of this. "You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, I feel pretty crummy. I guess I am getting my strength back, but I am really confused. Obviously."

I am not good at small talk, or acting sympathetic. I can't think of anything to say that doesn't seem patronizing. I just sit there looking at the floor, and I hope that he can see that I am trying, and that I care how he is doing. Maybe that is enough for today.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for reading! It has been a bit of a struggle for me to decide what to do with this, whether to keep writing within the framework of _Mockingjay _or start taking the story in different directions. So far I have decided that I just want to keep working on Katniss's character by adding things without changing anything that happens in the book. Let me know what you think. I am also working on another chapter.**

Chapter 4

"Well, I...better be going," I say, edging through the door.

So awkward. But as I fall asleep that night I think about that cake that he decorated and that moment when he sounded like himself, speaking to Annie. Is he in there? Can I reach him?

The next day after training, I shower, thinking about what he said about the way I looked. I try to at least be clean and neat. Then, I go back to his room again. This time one of his doctors is there and wants to talk to me before I go in.

"Can I talk to him alone? You know, I understand that he needs to be restrained, but I just want some privacy."

"I'm afraid that we can't do that. Everything he says can be used to help him. I appreciate what you are doing," he says. "Peeta has come so far and I think that he will continue to improve slowly, but seeing you in a nonthreatening way can only help him to start to see the world how it really is." I know he expects me to think he's really nice, but I don't feel that friendly since I know that he is never going to let me talk to Peeta without an audience.

We walk into Peeta's room together and there he is, sitting in his chair, looking almost like himself, although much thinner than he used to be. His expression is very neutral today.

"Hi," I venture.

"Hi," he returns.

"Is it okay for me to come here?"

Silence.

"Yeah." I let his answer sink in and feel a slow, small smile on my face. I look down to hide it. Peeta is actually ok with me coming to see him. Not angry or confrontational or attacking me. This is going really well. I look at him. I can't think of anything to say. He was always the one who knew what to say, how to make things comfortable. But today he isn't saying anything. All of my hope starts to seep out of me...maybe its useless, I have no idea what I'm doing, and who knows if he's even in there to reach. I start to leave.

"Delly keeps telling me how great you are. But she thinks everyone is wonderful. I don't think she is giving me an accurate picture of you. I don't think that I had an accurate picture of you before either, I must have been blinded by my feelings for you."

It takes my breath away, how few words it takes for him to cut right to the center of my heart. I just stand there, frozen. I already knew that he was thinking along these lines from our previous conversations, but it doesn't hurt any less.

Finally, I manage to squeak out a response, "You're right. I don't know why you loved me." I get really quiet. "I'm sorry."

I leave, feeling like an icicle, frozen and numb. In one of the hallways I run into Haymitch. When he sees my face, he grabs my arm and starts leading me to my room.

"What is it, Katniss?"

I try to explain to him what happened and how I can't seem to hold onto the tiny ray of hope that Peeta will ever be himself again. He just listens and then sits there thinking for a while, rubbing a hand over his bloodshot eyes, trying to figure out what to say to me that is honest, but helpful.

"None of us know the future. We don't know if Peeta will ever be the same or be able to see you the same again. But he has come so far, and even though its hard for you to see, the fact that he is trying so hard to figure you out is a good thing. The bad feelings from being hijacked are in the front of his mind, making it so that he can't see you clearly, but I think it just might take some more time."

"What if he is seeing me clearly for the first time? What if he was wrong about me before?"

"No, Katniss, even you should be able to see that he still isn't quite there. How could he see you better in his traumatized state than when he was in his right mind? I admit that I didn't understand at first what he saw in you. But Peeta knew you better than anyone, and he sure loved you. We can't give up on him. Maybe he will come back to us."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 (after the Capitol is taken, while Katniss is in the president's mansion p.363)

After visiting Haymitch my mind shuts off as I wander aimlessly. Then, in the middle of a long hallway, it clicks on again, and I realize what is bothering me about Haymitch's comment: "More boy trouble?" Its Peeta. I miss him. I haven't seen him since Tigris's shop. I think of him in the last parts of our mission with the squad, how he was acting exactly like himself. Tired, discouraged, upset, but definitely Peeta. When he thought he was going to lose it, he somehow held it together-for me, because I was begging him to. And a conversation that I overheard between him and Gale comes back to me. At the time, I could only think about how mad I was at how calculating Gale made me sound. But now I try to remember the whole thing. It seems like they were joking about which of them I would choose. As though Peeta wanted me to choose him. Even with all that was going on, how could I have missed that? He was really there.

I rack my brains for everything I've heard about him, digging behind the wall that is my loss of Prim. All I can remember is that he was burned and recovering in the hospital just like me. It seems like they could have put him up here in the mansion too, once he got out of the hospital. I need to see him.

I find a guard I recognize and ask where Peeta is. He looks surprised that I am talking, but answers my question, sending me over to a nearby hallway. I don't know which door, so I'm just walking quietly, hesitating at each door to listen and see if I can hear him. I am starting to wonder what I am going to say to him anyway, and becoming aware of how awful I must look, when I hear his voice. I walk slowly and quietly towards the sound of voices. The door is ajar. He's talking to Dr. Aurelius.

"...still trying to put it all back together. I just keep sorting through the memories, reclassifying them: real or not real. I think its helping, but there are just so many. I don't know if I will ever finish sorting them."

"Would it help to talk through some of these memories together? Or perhaps you could write them down, make a list."

"I don't know, maybe..." Peeta sounds doubtful.

"Think about it. Are there any memories that you need some help figuring out?"

Peeta clears his throat. "Well, the hardest part is Katniss, of course. My picture of her is piecing together, but its so complicated. Even when I'm pretty sure I'm only thinking about the real memories, or the pieces of them that are left, there are so many conflicting feelings. This one memory, in the Hunger Games, we were in a cave together sharing a sleeping bag. I ignore the fear that she will kill me, because I know that that isn't real. Then there's the feelings of friendship,of closeness, of love that I remember. Apparently she was taking care of me and she risked her life to save mine. Which I remember being angry about, too. Its so mixed up with fears and doubts. I think she was just acting for the audience to get sponsors and I know she was also trying to repay her debt to me for saving her life. Maybe none of it means that she cares about me."

He's quiet for a minute and Dr. Aurelius doesn't say anything.

"I have no idea what to do with all of these feelings, how to tell if I'm coming to the right conclusions, or if I'm still...influenced by all of the fear that came from the hijacking. When she came to see me in District 13 this one time, she said that she loved me. Sometimes I can't quite believe it-I can't quite trust her, but I want to. And sometimes I can. She was fighting so hard for me during the offense on the Capitol. She really should have killed me because I was such a liability, but she wouldn't do it. She's amazing, really, the way she fights for what she believes in."

Its quiet for a moment. I'm just letting it all sink in. I try to decide if I should go in there and see him or just slip away.

"Well, Peeta, I can't give you any easy answers. Just don't forget how far you've come. You'll figure it out. I'm very impressed with your progress. Think how long its been since you've had a flashback. Its almost time for me to go but I'll be back tomorrow. Anything else I can do for you?"

"Just fix my head for me already, will you?" Peeta laughs.

"Mmmm. Wish it were that easy." Dr. Aurelius doesn't laugh, but it sounds like he's smiling.

"How is Katniss?"

"The same, last I saw her. See you tomorrow, then."

I step behind the door as he opens it so that he won't see me. I listen to his footsteps recede. Then I walk into Peeta's room.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for reading! I think this is the end. I would love to hear what you think!

Chapter 6

Peeta is sitting in a chair next to the window, holding a little bit of rope and tying it into knots. He doesn't have any restraints anymore. He must be getting better. He seems really deep in his thoughts; it takes him a second to realize that I am standing there watching him.

"Katniss." I think maybe he's happy to see me, or is it just wishful thinking? Just seeing him makes me feel so much more like a person again.

"Did Finnick teach you how to do those knots?"

"Yeah...Finnick."

We both sit there, trying not to think about Finnick's death.

"When we were in Thirteen, before you were rescued, he lent me his rope too. To help me make it through, distract me from the fact that Snow had you. He was a good friend. I probably would have had to be locked in a padded room or sedated that whole time if he hadn't shown me how to do some knots to pass the time. I used to make those knots all night."

"Me too. Still do sometimes."

"I'm glad he got to be with Annie again."

Then Peeta looks up at me and I just know that we are both thinking the same thing. We want to be together like that. But how do we get there, after all we've been through? I step a little closer.

"You look so much better. I don't know how you've made so much progress while recovering from the burns at the same time," I say, "You've always been so strong. Even hijacking couldn't take that away for long."

He looks at me in disbelief, "Me, strong?" I nod.

He reaches out slowly and touches my arm so softly that I can barely feel it, running his finger along one of the grafts. "We match now." I can see that his arms are the same patchwork of burns and grafts. I reach for his hand and he takes it. It feels the same as always, steady and warm, even if he has lost some muscle since I last held his hand. Our eyes meet and then, he's holding me.

Peeta. I'm home.


	7. Chapter 7

(after Peeta's arrival at District 12)

Greasy Sae is washing dishes. Her granddaughter is sitting on the floor, playing with a ball of yarn. The aroma of freshly baked bread fills the kitchen, making it seem homey and comfortable in a way that it hasn't felt since I've come back to this empty house. I can picture that yeasty smell filling the whole house, replacing the scent of Snow's rose and chasing out all the ghosts. Peeta and I sit quietly at the table, finishing up our eggs and bread. I glance up from my plate to get a look at Peeta. Maybe it's not just the bread that's making the house feel more normal again. His presence keeps me mentally here in a way that Greasy Sae's couldn't. It reminds me of a hundred times that we were together in this house enjoying a meal, working on the plant book, just the two of us or with my mother, Prim, or Haymitch. All of the unthinkable things that have happened since that time seem to recede a little bit from the front of my mind. But I'm not going to pretend that I don't feel a little nervous and awkward with him too. I can't quite forget all of the painful exchanges that we've had as he's recovered. Maybe I should say something to him, but I have no idea what we could talk about that wouldn't bring back horrific memories.

Greasy Sae wipes her hands, takes her granddaughter by the hand, and leaves.

Peeta meets my eyes. "You going hunting today?"

"Well, I didn't get too far yesterday. Maybe I'll just have a little walk so I can work up to actual hunting. You want to come?" The invitation pops out of my mouth before I think about it too hard. I guess I would rather not go back to the solitude I've been wandering in so much lately. He looks at me a moment, as if deciding whether or not I really want him to come.

"Okay."

As we walk past the place where Peeta just planted the primroses, I stop to look at them. Then I decide to water them and realize that I'm stalling because walking through town where all the carts and remains are doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore. So we just sit in the garden.

"Peeta? I guess you've seen it?"

"Yeah. I saw it. I wanted to say goodbye to my family. And then I went into the woods, to get away from it. Then I saw the primroses and it seemed like a productive thing to bring some home."

After a minute I ask, "Peeta? Why did you come back here?"

"Well, its home, isn't it? Even destroyed, it still is home. People are coming back." I nod and he's quiet for a minute. "And I was worried about you. You remember what you said to me in the Capitol? That you and I protect each other, that's just what we do? I guess you were right. I've thought about that a lot. Over and over again. Obviously, in both arenas. On the Victory Tour. During the attack on the Capitol. The Mockingjay Deal. You were trying to protect me even then, weren't you?" I meet his eyes and nod again. "And when I started wanting to protect you, I felt like I started to remember who I am."

We sit quietly in the mild spring sun for a few minutes. Then I hear the distant jangling of my phone ringing inside my house. I just ignore it.

"Katniss? Isn't that your phone?"

"Yeah." I don't move. After a while it stops ringing. I'll answer Dr. Aurelius when he calls tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

We've settled into a routine. Peeta comes over for meals at my house with Greasy Sae, bringing bread. I hunt almost every day while Peeta bakes at his house. I am filling out and getting stronger with regular food and exercise. I still sometimes fall sleep in my rocking chair in the kitchen instead of my room, Buttercup curled up at my feet. One day after dinner Peeta and I sit side by side at the table watching the fire die down, nibbling on cookies that Peeta brought. There are moments, like this, that we are comfortable together, but there is always a little distance, as if we are both unsure of where we stand with each other.

"Do you ever paint anymore?" I suddenly ask. He shakes his head. "Do you still have paints and things at your house?"

"Yes. I guess I just haven't felt like it or known what I would want to paint exactly. Maybe I will eventually."

"Would you be willing to help me with a project? I want to make a book. We could remember and write about all the people we love who have died. And you could do pictures." Peeta looks at me intently for a minute and then I see tears well up in his blue eyes and start to leak out the corners.

"Yes," he finally answers, "Yes."

I remember that day when we left for our first Hunger Games and he cried on the train. I think of all that he has lost, all that he has endured. I wish I could make everything all better. I can't resist leaning over and wiping the tears gently from his face with my hand. My hand hesitates on the side of his cheek and I am about to pull it back out of embarrassment when he reaches up and firmly grasps my damp hand. He sets our clasped hands on the table and grabs my chair with his other hand, pulling it closer to his. Once our chairs are side by side I slide a little bit onto his chair and lean my head on his shoulder. I'm slowly drifting away to sleep in the peace of Peeta's touch when, for some reason, I remember that night on the beach when Peeta gave me the locket and I went to sleep dreaming of a world where he could have a child that would be safe. In the arena, I thought that only one of us could survive, and I wanted it to be him. But somehow, we've both made it through and the Capitol has been overturned. Is the world safe now? Do I even dare hope? And I realize that the hope I'm dreaming of is for both of us to be together in that world, and to be there when Peeta has the chance to have children, for them to be mine too. As soon as the thought becomes conscious I am so overwhelmed with fear—hopes are only something that can be taken away, and how could a safe place for children ever really exist?—that I jerk away from Peeta. I catch his startled eyes for a moment as I stand up.

"Easy," he says, reaching out his arms to me, "Were you having a nightmare already?"

"Uh, kindof."

"Want to talk about it?"

I try to breathe more normally as Peeta comforts me. The fear recedes and all that's left is embarrassment. There is no way that I am admitting that I was thinking about having Peeta's babies.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

One morning Peeta doesn't come. I eat breakfast distractedly, trying to keep up a conversation with Greasy Sae, but I can't stop looking at the door.

"I'm just going to go check on Peeta," I say matter-of-factly, filling up a plate and taking it out the door.

When he doesn't answer his door right away I open the door, calling, "Peeta?" I'm starting to worry about him.

Peeta is coming down the stairs in his pajamas, his hair sticking up, his eyes drooping.

"Oh, Peeta! I'm sorry I woke you up. I was just getting so worried when you didn't come for breakfast," I'm talking too fast. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Just didn't sleep really well last night and then I didn't feel very well this morning so I just stayed in bed." There are dark circles under his eyes, but he gives me just a bit of a smile to reassure me. Relieved, I smile back at him.

"Then you better go right back to bed." I take him by the hand and lead him back up to his room. He seems a little hesitant, but lets me. Once he's back in bed I hold out the plate. "Well, I brought you some breakfast. Are you hungry? Or should I just go?" Seeing him like this reminds me of all of the times we spent the night together. There is something so adorably boyish about that hair.

"Yeah, I am, actually. Hungry, I mean. Stay." He sets the plate on his lap and starts to eat.

"Be right back. I'll just get you something to drink." I say, heading down to the kitchen.

Then I sit on the side of his bed and talk to him while he finishes his food. When he's done I set the plate aside and tuck him in, stroking his hair. I've enjoyed fussing over him, but I'm having trouble meeting his eyes.

"Katniss?"

"Yes." I finally look up from the pattern on his quilt.

"Thank you," he says. He holds out his arms to me and I climb right in with him. I guess I could use a nap, too. I wake up a few hours later and Peeta is still out like a light. I watch his sleeping face for a moment. I can't resist kissing the scar on his forehead before snuggling up and drifting off again.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

One morning I wake up before dawn and leave for the woods to hunt. As I step out my door with my bow and arrows, I glance at Peeta's house. His kitchen window shines with yellow light. He must be making bread already. I can't seem to resist. Maybe I'll just say hello. I knock on his kitchen door and he comes almost immediately, brushing flour off of his hands and arms. A dab of flour on his nose makes me smile.

"Hello, Katniss. Heading out to the woods early today?" He smiles back at me.

"Yes." I stand there, grinning like an idiot. Actually we're both grinning like idiots. I can't remember the last time I saw him really smile like that. There is a touch of sadness in his eyes that wasn't there before, and will probably never go away, but he is genuinely happy to see me.

"Want to come in?" I nod and walk through the door. I can't wipe the smile off my face. I start to laugh.

"What?" he asks, "What's so funny?"

"It's just a little flour on your nose." I'm still laughing. He starts to try to wipe it off and I reach out to help him. "Right…there. Here, let…me do it." I can barely get the words out because I'm laughing so hard. He's smiling, but raises his eyebrows a little at me. I take a deep breath to calm myself so he won't think I'm completely crazy. "I know, I know, its not that funny, I don't know why I can't stop laughing." Because I'm laughing again, and then he's laughing too, really laughing.

We just sit there on the floor of the kitchen, laughing like there is nothing funnier than someone having flour on their nose. After a minute, I look over and he's crying.

"You know, my dad used to always ask if he had flour on his nose before he went to the front of the bakery to help customers." He's crying, but then he starts laughing too at the same time. "It was kind of a family joke, because he usually did actually have flour on his nose. One time, he left it there on purpose while he was helping customers just to tease my mom. We all thought it was hilarious, but we couldn't laugh in front of Mom or we would have gotten in trouble." I just look at him, imagining the scene. He sighs. "I miss my dad."

I close the space between us and give him a hug, right there on the floor. When I look up to see how he's doing, our eyes meet and before I know it, I've kissed him. A sweet, warm, sitting on the floor kiss.

A bell rings and Peeta extricates himself to take some buns out of the oven. I stand up and look at him a little sheepishly. He sets down the pan and looks up at me as he takes off an oven mitt, the same sheepishness reflected in his eyes.

I go toward the door, picking up my bow and arrows and game bag, which are all over the floor.

"I guess I'll get going."

"Here, take some of these with you," he says, handing me some hot buns wrapped in a kitchen towel, "I'll see you later?" He looks at me hopefully.

"Of course."

Dawn is starting to break over the horizon as I head out into the woods, and I can feel the warmth radiating from the bundle of bread I'm holding.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm stuck up a tree, waiting for a pack of wild dogs to give up and move on. I'm getting stiff and cold and hungry up there as night falls. I feel my stomach clench with nervousness and hear my own heart beat as the dogs below growl and sniff, and strange shadows and sounds surround me in the dark woods. I can just see my house with its warm fire and a bubbling stew of Greasy Sae's, Peeta bringing some amazing fresh bread. I picture Peeta's strong hands slicing bread, his blue eyes a little sad and tired, and getting anxious as the hours go by without my arrival. Finally, the dogs move on, and I wait a long while to be safe and know that they are really gone before I come cautiously down. By now, it's so dark that I can barely see the dim shapes of the trees around me but I know the path so well that I move swiftly and quietly through the darkness all the same. As I near the place where the fence used to be I see a light bobbing towards me. The heavy footsteps first clue me in and then when I catch a glimpse of his face silhouetted against the light of a small lamp, I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Peeta!" I say, and the sound of my own voice startles me because my ears have grown so used to the quiet of the woods. I start to move faster toward him.

"Katniss? Where are you!" I can see the strain in his posture and hear the fear and eagerness in his voice as he looks for me in the darkness and turns toward me.

All of a sudden, I'm there, right in front of him, panting a little, blinking at the unaccustomed light. It is so strange to see him out here in the darkness and open. He looks different, almost menacing, for a moment, in the strange shadows cast by the lamp he holds. He is so startled to see me in front of him so suddenly that he drops the lamp. There's a thud, the lamp goes out, and I spring back instinctively. My heart is beating quickly and my hands tighten on my bow as I try to decide if I am in danger. But his voice is his own warm, familiar tone as he speaks again.

"Well, shoot. That was stupid, wasn't it? Katniss?" He reaches towards me. I let my bow fall down in one hand at my side as I step towards him and grasp his hand, so big and warm and strong. "Are you okay? What took you so long?" His face leans in close to mine and I lean in too, until our noses are almost touching. Somehow, the darkness dispels the normal habit of keeping enough distance to see a person's face when you speak to them. We can't see each other anyway, and somehow that seems to make my other senses more powerful. He smells like cinnamon.

"I'm fine. I ran into a pack of wild dogs. I was up a tree." I can feel his warm breath on my face as he looks down and his free hand brushes his belt, and I catch a slight glint of a knife.

"I guess I won't be needing my knife, then." His hand reaches up and brushes my hair back from my face, then cups my cheek in his hand.

"No, I don't think you will."

Then he drops to his knees, still holding my hand, but letting it go after a moment, and starts feeling around on the ground for the lamp. The night air feels so cold around me without him next to me, my hand isn't sure what to do without his, so I fidget with my bow and arrows and game bag, adjusting them over my shoulder.

"Here it is." He stands up and takes my hand again. "I can't relight it. We'll have to find our way in the dark. I guess that's what you were doing anyway." We start to walk through the meadow.

"Thanks. For coming for me."

"Well, you know. I worry about you."

I can't see much, as I try to make him out in the darkness, but I can see something else above me. Stars.

"Ah. Wait. Look." He stops and looks up, too and we're quiet for a few minutes, gazing at the beautiful night sky and shivering a little. He puts his arm around me to keep me warm.

"I wish…" Peeta starts. His face comes in close to mine again.

"What?" I ask. He pulls away a little bit.

"Nevermind." He starts walking again, still holding my hand.

"What?" I ask again. "What do you wish?"

"I wish a lot of things. But I don't want to scare you away. I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out."

I spend the rest of the walk home holding Peeta's hand tightly and thinking about all of the things that he might wish for. I don't want to pry, but I am so curious. Part of me is a little afraid, too, that what he might say could scare me off. When we reach the Victor's Village, there are some lights. Before we get to my house I stop him again and pull him to the side of a house.

"Please tell me," I say quietly, looking up at him. "I want to be your friend, that you can tell things to." He sighs in frustration, giving in.

"I was thinking about my family. It had a lot of problems. You know that. But I loved them. I have always wanted to have my own family, someday, that would be…that would be better than that. I want to never have any abuse in my home. I want children, to protect them and love them."

For some reason, this makes me want to cry. I know, as his friend, that I have to tell him the truth. So I take a deep breath and force myself to.

"I have thought for a long time, Peeta, that you would make the best parent of anyone I know." I give him one quick kiss and catch a glimpse of his surprised, thoughtful face as I run away to my house and shut the door.


	12. Chapter 12

One day I am just feeling a little bored. We've been home for several months and it's fine, we're getting better, but nothing much ever happens. I come over and watch Peeta work on some kind of fancy breaded apple pastry. It smells and looks fantastic but he takes it out of the oven unenthusiastically and sets in on the counter beside several other different breads without even looking at it. We are never going to eat all of this before it goes stale.

"That's a lot of bread. Have you given some to Haymitch?"

"Yeah, I already took him some today. Do you want some of this?" He hands me a big piece of the apple thing and I start picking at it even though it is still too hot to eat. This stuff just melts in my mouth. But I look back at Peeta.

"Are you doing okay?" I ask. "Maybe you need to get out of the house. You up for a hike?"

He nods. Neither of us mentions the fact that it looks like it might rain. We just get jackets and food and head out. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house.

Peeta is a little slow on his prosthetic, but we make it out to my strawberry patch. We sit in the wild strawberries, picking and eating for a while and then gathering some more to take home. I'm getting thirsty and I want to rinse my hands, so I walk over to a big nearby stream. Even though it's an overcast day, I'm feeling pretty warm from walking and I pull off my shoes and socks to dip my bare feet in the water.

"Isn't that cold?"

"Yeah, it feels good. You should try it. Come on." Peeta cautiously dips his foot in and makes a face at the cold. I laugh and start rolling up my pants and wading in deeper.

"I have an idea. Come with me." I pull him downstream a little ways until it starts getting a lot deeper. A few raindrops are starting to fall.

"Katniss?" He is looking a little worried. I hear thunder in the distance and the raindrops get much bigger.

"Alright, alright," I say ,walking with him out of the water. But then I take off my jacket, hand it to him, and immediately start climbing out on a branch that hangs over the water. Peeta stands there and watches. All around us is running water and dripping green leaves. The smell of rain is overwhelming. When I'm several feet out, I jump right in. It's just deep enough. There is something so refreshing about cool water. I come up laughing. Peeta laughs too.

"You are crazy, you know that?"

"We would have gotten soaked anyway from the rain. Come on in! You could tuck our jackets under that bush and they would be ok." At first I don't think he's going to do it, but then I see him taking off his jacket and coming out. "Be careful. It's not that deep so your feet will hit." He looks a little nervous, but he jumps in and he's smiling. We jump in a few more times, shrieking a little bit at the cold every time. As I'm coming out of the stream, I slip on the rocky bottom and end up sitting in the shallow edge of the stream.

"Are you okay?" Peeta comes over and gives me a hand to help me up. Our hands are slippery with water. Rain is streaming down our faces.

"Yeah."

I start to walk away, but he stands there, looking down at me intently like he has something to say. He looks serious and I start to wonder if something is wrong. He seemed happy a minute ago.

"Katniss, will you marry me?" Time freezes. I don't think I'm breathing. I look into his eyes and notice that raindrops are clinging to his long blond eyelashes. The thought pops into my head out of nowhere_: I want to have a baby with eyelashes like that._ I push the thought away, but the truth is, we belong together, and I'm actually happy.

"Yeah."

"Did you just say yes?"

"Uh huh." I know, so eloquent, but I'm lucky to get anything remotely coherent out. Peeta scoops me up in his arms, kisses me, and carries me out of the stream. Then he sets me down, wraps his arms around me, and starts kissing me again. I am soaked through, but I feel warm.


	13. Chapter 13

"Real or not real: you agreed to marry me." Peeta's smiling, but he looks a little embarrassed, like he really isn't sure.

"Real," I say, smiling a little at his disbelief, and pretending to be really interested in the dishes I'm doing to cover my own blush.

We're in my kitchen early the next morning. I spent a lot of the night trying to wrap my head around what happened yesterday and what it means, but I'm not making much progress. Apparently Peeta is having the same problem. It seems a little surreal. Plus, I have no idea if there is even a legal process established in District 12 yet for marriages.

"Good. So how are you picturing this wedding?" he asks me.

"That's the problem. I can't picture it." We sit there for a minute. "I'm not wearing a big white dress." I remember the fancy white dresses that Cinna designed for my Capitol wedding and the last time that I wore one.

"No," he agrees.

"Maybe we should have a secret toasting like you said in the interview." I never liked the idea of a big wedding in the Capitol.

"What about your mom?"

"Hhhm. I guess we need to invite her. I wonder if she would come. And Haymitch?" I say doubtfully.

"Can I make a cake?"

"Okay. I liked Finnick and Annie's cake. Their wedding was nice. Maybe we should invite Annie."

"Good idea. I better talk to the new mayor to see what we need to do to make it official." As more and more people have come back to 12, they appointed a new mayor, someone from here that we don't know. I can't even remember his name. As Peeta says this, the door opens and Greasy Sae comes into the kitchen with her granddaughter. She doesn't always come twice a day anymore because I'm doing better and I'm often hunting, but sometimes she still comes over to have breakfast. I try to act nonchalant, but I can't help peeking at Peeta and I can't seem to wipe the dopey smile off my face. He has one too.

"Good morning." She looks back and forth between us, sensing that there is something going on. "You two are glowing like a pair of fireflies." Peeta looks at me and raises his eyebrows for permission. I nod.

"Would you like to come to our wedding?" he asks.


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for reading everyone! The next chapter is the wedding! I'm not sure if I'll keep writing after that...I never imagined that I would write this many chapters when I started this, so we'll see whether inspiration hits. I love to hear your feedback.

Chapter 14

"Mom? It's Katniss."

"Hi Katniss. How are you?" She sounds a little surprised. I know that I should keep in touch better, but I don't call very often because it's so awkward.

"Fine, good actually. I, uh, have something important to talk to you about. Would you be able to come here for a visit?" I pause. She clears her throat, but I start in again before she starts talking. "Because…because I'm getting married. To Peeta." It's really quiet for a long time. I can hear her breathing. I have no idea what she's thinking. When she speaks, her voice wavers.

"Of course I will come for your wedding, Katniss. I will need to talk to the hospital manager about getting the time off, but I'm sure I can come. When is it?"

"Well, we didn't want to set a date until we talked to you about when you could come. But, well, we don't see any reason to wait, so we were hoping in the next few weeks. Will you call and let me know when can come?"

After we've said our goodbyes I hang up and take a deep breath. I look down at the growing list in front of me: my mother, Haymitch, Greasy Sae, Annie, Cressida, Pollux, Johanna Mason, Delly Cartwright. In my mind, I see a much longer list of people who won't be there: my father, Prim, Peeta's parents and brothers, Rue, Madge, Finnick, Boggs, the rest of our squad, and on and on.

That night I have a dream, a piece of a memory from my childhood. My father comes home singing, my mother greets him at the door, and he kisses her long and hard, saying "I missed you," before giving Prim and me a hug. Somehow it makes me feel better about everything, like my father would be happy for me.

The next day my mom calls: she will be visiting in two weeks and staying for about a week. We set the date for the middle of her visit, a Monday in September. Then comes the part that I am not really looking forward to, but which turns out to be okay: telling everyone.

Haymitch's response to the news is a gruff, "'Bout time." Everyone we call is ecstatic and starts making plans. Even Johanna, who makes fun of me on the phone, can't hide the smile behind her sarcasm. Delly is so excited that she starts squeaking unintelligibly. No one is used to being able to just buy a ticket and take a train to visit another district so it is doubly exciting. The guest list continues to grow. We swear everyone to secrecy to avoid publicity. There are moments when I wish that we had decided on the secret toasting to avoid all the attention, but mostly it feels good to see everyone so happy for us.

The day before the wedding my house is full of guests and preparations, led by my mother and Greasy Sae in the kitchen. I feel like I'm just getting in the way. Peeta is holed up in his house, decorating the cake, which I am not allowed to see. I go and knock on his door anyway. He peeks out at me.

"Want to take a break?" I ask hopefully.

"Okay, just a minute." He disappears, shutting the door.

A few seconds later, he comes out, smiling and holding a hand behind his back.

"Close your eyes and open your mouth," he says. I obey. I feel his finger gently place something on my tongue. Sweet, creamy, it melts on my tongue. His finger slips away. My stomach flutters and my eyes open to meet Peeta's, watching me intently.

"Mmmm. Frosting?" He nods. "That's amazing. I can't wait."

"Me neither." I think there must be a little frosting still on my lips because his eyes rest there. When he kisses me, he tastes better than the frosting.


	15. Chapter 15

The day of the wedding I find myself singing one of my father's songs in the bathtub. It's about a girl who wears wildflowers in her hair. I put on a pink dress from the Victory Tour, this time with no makeup. This one has partial sleeves so that I don't feel totally exposed, but I don't bother even attempting to cover any of my burn scars. My mother does my hair, which is finally growing out a little bit, braiding the top and leaving the rest free around my shoulders. Then she puts some little flowers in it, maybe inspired by the song that I was singing.

"Mom? Tell me about your wedding." I've heard my parents talk about it when I was little, but never since my father died. She gets a faraway look in her eye and I'm not sure if she will answer.

"I was nineteen, just like you are," my mother starts. Am I nineteen? I guess I lost track. Sometimes I feel a thousand years old. "He used to come to the apothecary to sell his game and I would always listen for knocks on the door and find some excuse to be there so that I wouldn't miss him if he came. He was so good-looking and independent and he was always singing. You could always tell what kind of mood he was in by the kinds of songs he sang. One day he brought me some wildflowers and asked if I would go for a walk. After that I started sneaking out to go for walks with him after he would trade with my parents. My parents didn't approve when they found out. But I was crazy about him. When he asked me if he was worth it to me, if I would ever marry him, I said yes. We went to the Justice Building one day without telling anyone, and then came to tell my parents that we were already legally married. Since there was nothing they could do, I guess they decided that being angry wouldn't do any good, so we ended up celebrating together. We had a toasting ceremony with both of our families and all of our friends and they all came and gave us wedding gifts. A few pretty things did a lot for our house. It was a change in lifestyle, but I knew that it would be. I would have done anything to marry your father."

"Do you still think it was worth it, after all that has happened?" After I've said it, I wish I could take it back. I'm afraid to hear the answer to this question.

"Yes, I do. I would do it again for the time together with him, and with you girls."

She leads me to a mirror and I see myself, the glow in my cheeks brought out by the pink fabric, the flowers in my hair. I look nice, but still totally myself, hideous scars and all.

"You are a lot like him, you know," my mother says. I can see glimpses of my father in my face, but I know that she didn't just mean that I look like him.

I am starting to feel a little panicky, but memories keep popping into my mind: Peeta throwing the blackened bread, Peeta fighting off Cato, Peeta comforting me after a nightmare, Peeta playing with my hair on the day of our picnic on the Training Center roof. I remember those times when Peeta was captured in the Capitol and afterwards when he was physically present, but not back with me yet. I believed that I would never have Peeta back. But miraculously, he is mine again.

Soon Peeta is here, looking handsome and a little nervous in a dark suit. There isn't any Justice Building to go to anymore, so the mayor comes over with some papers for us to sign. We sign them without much ceremony, but Peeta squeezes my hand and the mayor congratulates us, calling us "Mr. and Mrs. Mellark." Greasy Sae is busy finishing up food preparations, laying out the two roasted geese that Haymitch donated for the occasion. Haymitch comes in and slaps us both on the back. My mother, Peeta, and I start serving up food. Delly arrives, looking a little misty-eyed just to see us together. Peeta gives her a warm smile. When Annie Odair comes, looking as round as a melon, I hug her tightly. Her eyes are sad but she seems to be functioning.

"Are you doing okay, Annie?" I ask quietly.

"Oh, yes. I miss Finnick, of course, every minute of every day," she says, her voice wobbling a little, "but you know, this baby gives me something to live for. And I'm so happy for you two."

Next, Cressida and Pollux arrive, carrying a couple of cameras. We've asked them not to do any filming, but we'd like a few still photos. Soon everyone is there, enjoying the meal. Once we've all eaten, Peeta brings in the cake, a glossy dark chocolate layer cake with elegant white piped designs all over it. I don't know if anyone else notices, but I think I see the shape of Katniss blossoms in there. Peeta cuts me a big piece and insists on feeding it to me bite by rich satiny bite. The rest of the room fades into a blur around me. All I'm aware of is Peeta beside me and the cake in my mouth.

"Peeta, you have to eat some of this too!" I say after a while, laughing.

"I spent the whole time making it imagining how much you would enjoy it. I get a lot more pleasure out of watching you eat it," he replies, but when I start getting really full he finishes it for me.

Someone clearing their throat brings me back to reality. It's Cressida asking if she can pose us for a few pictures and we agree, reminding her to keep it brief. Peeta and I argued about whether to let her publish the photos after the wedding. I feel like it's no one business but ours and a few friends, and I'm sick of everyone knowing everything about my life. But Peeta argues that people will find out anyway and that everyone recovering from the war could use some good news.

As we take the pictures everyone starts to gather outside. Those from District 12 lead the others in singing the traditional wedding song as Peeta and I walk holding hands into his house. Our house, now. The words are about a couple, hand in hand, starting their life together with a love that grows like a tree through the years. Then they all come in to watch quietly as we make a fire, toast a slice of bread at the fire, and eat it together. When Peeta hands me half of the toast, for a moment I feel like the starving girl who was saved by the boy with the bread, or maybe the tribute in the cave sharing food and kisses with him. Then I look into his face and see the depth and maturity in his eyes as he looks back at me, and I remember how much sorrow we have come through. Everyone cheers when we are done with the bread and Peeta gives me a little kiss. It is still light outside, but it's darker in the house and the fire casts warm flickering light around at the faces of everyone we love. Delly is sobbing unashamedly and I see tears in Haymitch's eyes as he pats her on the back awkwardly. My mother comes up and gives us a hug, smiling and crying at the same time.

Before I know it, everyone has left and it's just Peeta and I, hand in hand beside the fire. I am quiet, overwhelmed by the bittersweet emotions of the day, thinking of my mother's face, and how much Prim would have enjoyed being a part of the wedding. Peeta looks serious.

"There were a lot of missing people today, weren't there?" he asks.

"Yes."

I stare at the fire lost in thought for a few minutes. Then I can hear Peeta starting to chuckle. I look up in disbelief and sure enough, he is laughing.

"You know, I kept waiting for you to take off running into the woods or something. I can't believe you actually married me. Now it's too late. You are stuck with me, Katniss Mellark," he teases.

"And you, my friend, are stuck with me." We grin at each other. "So now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?" I ask, repeating something that Peeta asked me after our first Hunger Games.

"Hhhmm, well I have a few ideas about that, actually," he says, raising one eyebrow and smiling at me mischievously. He sounds bold, but I catch a shy little questioning look in his eye like he is asking for permission. I can feel my cheeks get warm but I'm laughing.

"Good," I say. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me with an intensity that I have never felt before. He has always kissed me with warmth and sincerity, but never with this kind of desperation that I am experiencing now. It's like he's been holding back his passion all along, so that I only caught glimpses of it, but the barriers are crashing down now.

I have a feeling it's going to be a good night.


End file.
